Personal | I Want a Short Escape From The Reality

Assalamualaikum and hey guys!

I am living well here, trying to cope with my life, completing tasks as a full time student along with all the events that I'm involved. Sometimes, I don't know why I always trying so hard to push my limits and do something that I am not familiar with. Yes, sometimes I do so many things in one time that I may collapse due to overwork. But, alhamdulillah so far I am not collapsing due to overwork. I just get fever and cold after it ends. I am so used to do hard work and whenever I get to do something so easy I feels like I am lazy and doing my work half heart which something that I really hate. Gosh! something is wrong with me.

I choose to do so many things in one time, but I always feel discourage half way and feeling like want to be someone who is irresponsible and to give up and to stop doing that. I have choices to make but I still choose the hard way. Why can't I just take an easy way, trust others, and not trying to do everything by myself? 

Studying itself becoming more more and more challenging this semester. I meet subjects that I am not good at and I feel so frustrated. I feel so stupid when I am trying to learn that. I feels like crying but my tears seem to dry out. But, I can do it.. I can do it.. I can do it.. Because I will..

Lately, I read in social media that people mocking that studying is not that hard like a working life. So, why so many student trying to suicide? For those who don't know, yes.. you think that working life is harder than studying. So do studying, it have its own pressure that no one can see. Only the student can feel it. The pressure to achieve success, to not destroying parent's expectations, to not failing, and so on. Yup.. Doesn't mean you can't see it, the pressure is not exist. For me, those who said that only see from their points of view and not to see far enough to be open minded. But, I still love studying.

Well, It must be nice to stop and go to a vacation for awhile to go and see the nature and to clear my mind. Yes, a vacation to heal myself, obviously not a vacation that spend to much money on shopping. Hahaha! It must be feel so great! Go to hike in the mountain (although I am not athletic), go to the beach and just sit to heal myself.

p/s I'm not saying that working life is easier than studying.. I've been working also and it have its own pressure.. but I disagree with people who are saying that studying is nothing compare to working, and I know that working is harder.. But, I disagree with people who condemn the student.. Everyone have their own struggles and we should be respect that :)

see ya!