In Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts | Quarer-Life Crisis


Hi Readers,

Have you ever felt stuck in a never-ending cycle when sometimes you feel that your life is just going on and on the same as yesterday? Some of us whose ages range from our mid-20s to early 30s face these issues where we start having self-doubts, constantly worrying about our future and feeling like we have yet to achieve anything. The term quarter-life crisis is happening to young adults who have just finished studying and trying to adjust to working life. The situation of the crisis varies from person to person due to their own life circumstances. 

In this posting, I am referring to the young adult with an age range similar to mine. We are reaching the age of having anxiety over the direction and quality of one's life. A common question we have been asking ourselves is probably "What is the point of everything?". Facing this kind of crisis is a good thing that it is going to be a good opportunity for us to reflect upon ourselves.

When we were a teenager, we expected that we already figured out it all. Honestly, who has thought that being in this age range feels like a teenager who has been forced to be an adult? But at the same time, it feels like we are too old to be a teenager? 

Personally, I also keep having doubts about every decision that I have made. Either I think I made very bad decisions or kept thinking that I should choose something else for better results. I feel so unsure about everything. My life is just going in a circle and I can expect what can happen day by day.

Sometimes, it feels like my body is no longer in my twenties, I am definitely in my 80s πŸ˜‚ because my body is aching all over physically and mentally. For now, I don't have any conclusion that I can make from being in this stage because I am still going through it. I just hope I can go through it bravely and strongly.

Thank you for reading!
- Nana

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In Health Lifestyle personal

Lifestyle | I Have Been Away For So Long and Busy Chasing Chaos and Surviving

Greetings!

I have been away from writing on this blog for so long. My last posting was in November 2020, which is now 2024. How fast the time flies. There have been so many things happening to me since November 2020. It is likely because I have started losing interest in doing everything I used to love such as doing arts, writing in this blog, exercising, etc. I have missed connecting and being inspired by all the creative things I used to do. 

For the past years that I have been absent, the story might have been a bit boring and depressing but long story short, I am just busy chasing chaos and surviving in my career. But then, suddenly it was already December 2023. I feel like I have been missing out on so many things. I have seen some of my friends already accomplished something and it feels like I have stayed in the same spot for years. My personality also changed a lot. I am becoming a short-tempered person, my energy depleted easily, I enjoy being alone instead of hanging out with new people and I don't smile easily.

"I really need to change and live my life in the present instead of stressing over my future" One day, this thought suddenly came out of my mind.

I feel like I am surrounded by negative energy that affects my health mentally and physically. I didn't really feel joy in anything and kept being sick all the time. Yes. It is not only affecting me mentally but physically. I have never been this sick before 2023. But in 2023, I even developed gastritis because I skipped lunch/breakfast/dinner. I slept late or slept less than 2 hours causing migraine, face breakouts, fatigue, losing/gaining weight and even hair loss. There was a moment when I took too many MC in 1 week that I only worked one (1) day, the rest were sick days.

However, I am already in the process of recovering and currently I am starting to feel more content day by day. Here are the things that I have done and am planning to do in 2024.

// To start Positive Journal
I started a journal where I will write at least a compliment for myself every day so that I can look back and feel the joy and satisfaction. This action actually worked for me. Whenever we jot down something positive that happened throughout the day, more or less it will change our mindset that there is still something good happening in one day no matter if it is a big thing or not. I would like to recommend all my readers to start this Positive Journal journey.

// To start back doing all of my hobbies
This might be the hardest for me because I already lost interest in doing things that I used to love. It is the most difficult thing to be committed to doing something that can only be done with my willpower, and the only thing I get is the satisfaction of doing it and the ability to finish it. For now, I can finish 1 sketch in my sketchbook, and another one is the digital sketch (which I just started to explore).

//Exercise
Exercising is good however for some depressing moments, exercising can make you feel more exhausted. I don't really like jogging and hiking can be too tiring for me at the moment. So, I choose to learn how to swim. One of the biggest things that I could accomplish in 2023 was learning and succeeding in swimming. Swimming can be so relaxing and ease my migraine after a whole day of working.

//Visit new places & spend some time in nature
For me, I love sudden planning to do this activity. For example, texting a friend for a sudden road trip to see the sunrise, the sudden road trip to go to the waterfall and many more. I have read somewhere that seeing nature can lower stress hormones, and anxiety and reduce the feeling of depression. Being with nature can help you think clearly and is one of the great ways to de-stress and relax. I can tell you that it is true. I do feel a bit healed whenever I am on a sudden road trip to see nature.

//To have some "me time" on Friday night after work
After spending your 9am to 5pm job from Monday to Friday, I think it is good to wind down and enjoy your nighttime alone doing something for yourself. You deserve to be pampered and to feel rewarded after spending your weekdays working. At this moment, usually, I prefer to do something relaxing and calming. I will prepare some hot drinks for myself, set a table on my bed, turn on my humidifier, wear my best pyjama to relax with a book, watch some movies or do my own facial and hair spa. For me, I prefer this way because during weekdays, I am always surrounded by people, so it feels calming whenever I am by myself. The introverted personality in me is screaming for a me-time every week. So, this is a must for me πŸ˜†

//Set some boundaries when you are working and whenever you are not
As for someone who works with people who don't know some boundaries, I think it is important to set an example that working life is not everything. If you think working life is important for you, don't drag or guilt-trip others into thinking that other people don't take their job as important as you just because they choose not to reply to you outside working hours, or whenever they take Annual Leave. Be more rigid and not afraid of turning down other people's requests so that you can have time for yourself, family and friends. But, in reality, it is really hard for me to set these boundaries for my clients and contractors. Like my boss said, I am on leave but the work is never on leave. I always asked for help from my colleagues and handed over some urgent matters to them. But, suddenly the urgent matters became non-urgent matters, and some other projects suddenly became urgent. So, more or less, whenever I was on leave, I still had to answer phone calls or texts from everyone. This is one of the issues I am still trying to figure out and settle.

//Progress towards personal spiritual reformation
Islam teaches us that the purpose of our life is to worship Allah S.W.T. and to devote ourselves to seeking His Love. But, actually, it is difficult to remove our worldly desires. For me, I try to spend my time a day for Islam. Learn more about Islam, read al-Quran, pray, etc. Islam teaches us that everything happens with the will of Allah. Islam teaches us to be grateful, peaceful and content with our life.

As I said earlier, I am aiming to do everything to make myself happy and content with my 2024 Vision. I have visualised my 2024 vision in this moodboard and I even made it as my phone & laptop wallpaper πŸ˜†


All these photos are my vision of what I want to do and planning to do this year. I also plan to keep writing. For the past years, I have been missing, I am still writing, but I choose to write privately in my journal. I love this blog. I have been writing on this blog since I was a teenager so this blog holds a very special place in my heart. When I opened this blog, I just realized that I had a few posts that I wrote in the draft but never published in my blog. So, I will publish the posts one by one to keep them in my blog.

Thank you for reading. Have a nice day!
-Nana

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In Artwork Drawing

Artwork | Platforms That I Used To Share My Artworks

Greetings everyone!


Just so you know, other than my love for writing in a blog, I also love to draw since I was a little girl. I am not a great artist, but I love to draw. Well, it is embarrassing to call me, myself as an artist. Just stick to a girl with a hobby to draw stuff. The first artwork that I sell was RM 20 and RM 10 in A4 size. 😊 It was a good deal since my artwork was not a masterpiece. 


It is not that I want this skill to be my main career. I thought that it would be impossible and I want to be a successful engineer. It has always been in my dream to be able to sell artworks to others and watching people embrace my artworks. A shameless statement from me. πŸ˜‚


So, back to the topic. Where did I share my artworks? First of all, I always share my artworks in my blog. You can just click the label "artwork" and you can find my previous artworks over the years. It is one of the good platforms to share my artworks to the others. I enjoy people watching my artwork and maybe criticising my artwork so that I can be better. Because I know, it is not perfect.


Before this, I used to share my artworks in my personal Instagram account, @acenana_ (link), but I changed my mind. I don't want to mix my personal pictures with my artwork. So, I make a new Instagram account to share my artworks which is @acenana_arts (link). It was a great decision to separately share my artworks in a different Instagram account.


Here I am shamelessly asking my readers to follow my account πŸ™


I linked my Instagram posts to my Facebook. So, I also share my artworks on my Facebook posts and feel blessed whenever I get compliments from my Facebook friends from time to time. Let me share one of the artworks I made for my History's teacher from my high school and he posts it on his Facebook. I feel so thankful for his compliments. I never thought that my skills deserved those compliments. Alhamdulillah. 



On the other hand, I displayed my artworks in my bedroom. It was one of my dreams to have my own artworks displayed on the wall in my bedroom. Achievement unlocked! πŸ’ž Let's end this post with my most recent artworks to be here as a good memory. Thank you πŸ’‹

This when I tried practising painting a portrait.

The house that I draw for my teacher.

First time practising drawing a mouth.

I drew this during the MCO period. It is Masjid Beijing which located at Kelantan


Best regards,
-Nana

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In A Letter To

A Letter To My Future Self

 

Dear Nana,


I am writing this letter thinking that my 34 years old self, reading this. I am wondering whether you are still living in the past. What I mean is whether if you are still throwback the good old memories. Whatever you do now, I wish you all the best. πŸ™†I hope that you don't feel insecure about yourself anymore. I am wondering, if there is something really bad happen to you, I hope that you can cope with everything. Just know that I am with you. From what I believe, you are a very strong woman. You are competitive, you never let others' opinion overshadow your decision. You are a prideful woman. Just know this, your family and me are with you. Just believe in yourself. 


I am wondering if you are still keeping this blog around? By the time you are reading this post, this blog must be already around 19 years old. Wowwww 😱 I have been blogging since 2011. That is how much I love writing. Although years ago, my posts in this blog were so embarrassing and immature. Well, that's how we grew up to be a fine lady. Well. I hope so. If not, it is okay. πŸ˜‚


If you not writing in this blog anymore, that is okay. Just keep it around for you to read from time to time. All those good and bad memories are here in this blog although I already deleted some embarrassing posts from my high school era. πŸ™‡


Anyway. I hope that you already become a person who embraces herself. Just know this, you should love yourself first before you started to open yourself to others. Well, I hope that someone able to break that thick concrete walls of yours. It is not good to keep a distance from others. Just look at me now, I am a mess.


Much love,

-Nana πŸ’–


//Note:- Let's try to write yourself a letter. If you are done writing, please share with me. I want to know what you want to tell your future self 😝

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