Random Thoughts | This Too Shall Pass

 

Why do we tend to try to control and change things that we can't do then we keep being upset because we can't control or change it? Since we were unable to do it, we started to feel overwhelmed and upset over it. I also feel the same and it is hard to change this mindset but I really do hope that I can change my mindset and it will affect my mood on a daily basis. It is hard to change the hard and lingering feelings.

I have been ignoring my warning signs of burnout. When I did, I tried to get rid of it one by one. But it seems like I am still stuck in the same old cycle and I am rotting away. It is not that I don't seek help, I do but it seems like none is helping me much. This shitty cycle really needs to end because I am tired, my body is tired. Sometimes I do feel like the pressure I have been getting from people around me, especially during work is not worth it. Whenever I try to do something when I, myself am not in the best condition, I can't control my 'emotional self' that keeps leaking out. Because of that, I tend to do something and make a decision while being emotional. Which is obviously not good for sure.

I felt weird when people thought that I was capable of holding all those things at the same time but I think that I always make things more messy. As time goes by, it is harder to keep myself from being emotional over something that I can't control. There are some things that I can be ignorant and I feel thankful for that. But I hope that I can be more ignorant to save myself from drowning in the sea of guilt and bad feelings. I keep feeling emotional but keep having this thought "If I cry now, it can't settle anything but I only feel tired from crying instead". 

But instead of feeling negative all the time, I try to keep myself positive by trying to fight with my subconscious self and tell myself a good thing so that I can gain back my strength.

Shawn Mendes - Hold On

I don't know what

You're going through

But there's so much life

Ahead of you

And it won't slow down

No matter what you do

So you just gotta hold on

All we can do is hold on, yeah

Yeah, you just gotta hold on

Just hold on for me

This too shall pass.

- Nana